forgive me

i dun like to regret.
who does?
especially after i've made a decision.
feels terribly lousy.
when things goes beyond my expectations,
like now,
i dunno how to react.

i m an impulsive person.
i like to act on impulse.
vibres.gut feeling.premonition.watever u like to call it.
i'd like things to go the way i want, live life the way i desire.
but,
suddenly,
i realized that,
i m not alone.
i m actually responsible for another person's happiness.
m i being too selfish?self-centred?
did i not consider him in my beautifully-painted picture of my future?
i really dunno.
maybe i m jus too naive?
"what if you lose him bcos of this job?"
i was dumbfounded.
i never thought of this question.

scared.
i m scared.
i trust him.
but it is the relationship,that maybe i m not so sure of.
seein him tryin to be happy in front of me,
i feel like a bad person.
i feel so irresponsible.
leavin jus lidat.
i m such an idiot.
who m i to make him hurt so much?
i m sorry....
pls forgive me for being so selfish.