路遥知马力，日久见人心

不知道为什么，突然想到这一句话。
有可能因为我到了一个陌生的地方，
跟一群原本陌生
但渐渐熟络的人
生活在一起，
工作在一起。
所以
才有这样的想法吧。

我发现，
我会尽量做到人人都开心。
我希望大家不会因为我的粗心而受到伤害。
有可能因为自己曾因为某些人的无心之过而感到委屈，
我提醒自己，千万不要那样。
如果我做的小小事能够令大家皆大欢喜，
那何乐而不为呢？

我很自私的。想要自己好受。
不是因为伟大所以这样做。

我期望自己，能够做到公平。
因为不希望别人对我不公平。
但是，世上又有什么东西是公平的呢？
对于某些朋友我就是会想要多付出一点，
这样子是不是对其他朋友不公平呢？


从来没想到做朋友有多么难。
难就难在，
把人家当朋友，
也希望人家把你当朋友看。
怎么突然有种被敷衍的感觉？
怎么有种一厢情愿的感觉？
想了想，
应该是我太天真了吧。
毕竟相处的时间短，
不应该一味的想为别人付出，
却没有想过人家想不想要呢？

我要成熟一点，
坚强一点，
这些都没什么的嘛，
把工作做好，
别人的事不要管，
开开心心的。
没有什么大不了的事，
对不对？
反正，
害人之心不可有就对了。
反正，
日久见人心。

IMO

Do u noe who m i?

yawns...my name is IMO, pronounce as"e-mo"
IMO stands for International Maritime Organization.
My owners studied too hard during the MTP training program,
ran out of brain cells, so decided to call me tt.

I noe my face's abit blacker den e usual doggies
but i m actually a female.
YES, i m a she.
In case you are wondering,
i m supposed to b a 小狐狸狗.
ermmmz...dun ask me wats tt,
i also dunno.
wait till i grow bigger den show u my pictures k?
haha.

More pictures......

2nd day in Yantai!Snowed!!But cant really see in e pic...
Its taken in the estate we living in..

this is the yard tt i'm work for...ermmmz....
nothing much to see actu...haha..
this is after welding lesson...we wanted to drag abit
so tt when we get back its time to knock off..wahaha...

More picture at e yard....ermmmz...
k la i noe e uniform is NOT NICE...
but den jus bear with it k...

Me and my roomie!
Going to town on our 1st Sunday=)

freezing@Yantai

dear all
i've reached Yantai.
Safe and sound.
Gotten my lodging as well as my laptop.

Well its been a week or so,
Everything screwed up a lil here and there,
but basically it's still OK.
at least at this pt in time.

I'm a lil tired..well since a picture paints a thousand words,
so here it goes...below r some pictures of e place i'm living in=)






Its pretty ok place, nice neighbourhood, safe and qt convenient.
Heard that its more of a place for e koreans.
Got mistaken as one in e korean supermarket and in shopping centres.
Not tt i look like one but cos we looked different from them so tt's their best guess.
lol.

The weather fluctuates quite a fair bit here.
When its cold, it is really damn freezing cold!!
Brr....

hello mr. time, can u pls b considerate n fly slower?

How i spent my break -- 13th Oct (Saturday)- 21 Oct(Sunday)

13Oct

slept till noon=x

met up with xinhong,bingde and rayner.

had dinner at a vegetarian restaurant.

played mahjong.

lost 5 bucks.

i m lousy lo.

lol.

14Oct

met hh,gary n wl for ktv at teo heng.

aft tt went to a cafe for icecream.

ended up with hh ordering a 4-course meal at 4pm.

hahaha.faint.

aft tt went to meet e 00s for dinner at clark quay.

we had pepper lunch.
1st time i tried.

ermmz...it was OK.

not as bad as i thot=x

15Oct

went nus with xinhong and den submit health report for visa application.

stupid me forgot to bring along x-ray!!!
gotta go down again!!! faint.

at night met up with mainworks - guanhua,lingfeng,chris and jelena
for dinner at hongkong cafe.

16Oct

met wen in morning for insurance matters,
aftn met janice. went shopping for gifts.

at night accompanied sis for dinner,
had ma la steamboat,

and carry on shopping.

hehehe.

17Oct

xinhong accompanied me to submit x-ray and
we shopped around again.haha.

its actu qt tiring to keep on shopping
n i m seriously getting A LIL tired.
wahaha.
kk i know able to shop during office hours is a luxury
and i shall not complain=p

dinner was with xinhong's family.

18Oct

went shopping with janice AGAIN, cos din managed to get wat we wanted on tue.

aft tt, i went to buy my external HD alone at sim lim.

deadbeat man.but bought wat i wan so not that bad.

met up with ruolin,liwei,liyan and ying for dinner.

19Oct

went back office today.

met up with my colleagues for lunch at coronation plaza.

so nan de edwin n i came back tog coincidentally!

happy to hav lunch tog again=)

aft tt met xinhong bought my perfume at millenia
and sis's bdae present at suntec.
dinner was at old airport road.

20Oct

.......

21Oct

had breakfast with vchew,wenhann,hong n nam.

at night had bdae celebration for my bro n sis.
we had dinner at this soup restaurant but its was OK only.
the chicken was not bad tho, as in e way they serve was qt unique.
bought this rpg game for bro.
tml wil be first day of work le...
so fast....

Is it meant to be?

i realised that,
the thought of leaving singapore,
is making me far more emotional than i usually already is and i thought i'd be.
seriously.
i just don't feel like leaving suddenly.
sorry its not PMS.
i don't deny that i m still excited abt the job.
despite all the scary things i've heard abt china.
i still wanna go,
i dunno y.
stupid me.
i wanna go...
but e prob is..
i dun wanna leave u all...
GREAT.
tt's wat i do best:
contradict myself to e max.
pls shoot either the angel or devil in me.
i m seriously sick of being stuck in dilemmas.

**********************************************
i cant move on with everything i want in life.
sadly.
k.
i noe its stupid to tink tt i can actu do tt.
but,
i just wished tt its possible.
i WISH.
but,
there are things that i have to let go,
and pray hard that it will still be there when i m back.
be it,anything.
if its meant to be,
its meant to be.

forgive me

i dun like to regret.
who does?
especially after i've made a decision.
feels terribly lousy.
when things goes beyond my expectations,
like now,
i dunno how to react.

i m an impulsive person.
i like to act on impulse.
vibres.gut feeling.premonition.watever u like to call it.
i'd like things to go the way i want, live life the way i desire.
but,
suddenly,
i realized that,
i m not alone.
i m actually responsible for another person's happiness.
m i being too selfish?self-centred?
did i not consider him in my beautifully-painted picture of my future?
i really dunno.
maybe i m jus too naive?
"what if you lose him bcos of this job?"
i was dumbfounded.
i never thought of this question.

scared.
i m scared.
i trust him.
but it is the relationship,that maybe i m not so sure of.
seein him tryin to be happy in front of me,
i feel like a bad person.
i feel so irresponsible.
leavin jus lidat.
i m such an idiot.
who m i to make him hurt so much?
i m sorry....
pls forgive me for being so selfish.

Farewell KTV

2007 Oct 12 10pm - 4am@ Marina Square KBOX

my dearest boss sang 你最珍贵 with lynn for me
my dearest JS--adrian and ivan jr sang chasing car for me
sang 童话 with paul for dar LING
sang way back into love with adrian
shortest-skirt-in-TC connie sang don't cha..woohoo~
sang 勇气 with alison
sang 大哥with lynn
sang in love with you with adrian
spider pig sang 唯一色彩for me
sang close to you for ivan jr
finally sang 花好月圆夜with spider pig
but 爱得正好was better!
the last song of the night i sang was 梁山伯与朱丽叶 with carine and edwin

ok.the objective of e night was to make me drunk.
adrian,boss,ivan jr,paul and carine 干杯 with me.
Frankly speaking, they didn't really try very hard to make me drunk,
although i was told they added more liquor to my drink while i went to e restroom.
no wonder there was one particular glass that tasted different.
so it was deliberately.haha.
but after all the 干杯s,
还是忍不住哭了。
maybe its bcos of dar LING and adrian's smses
maybe bcos i really really felt everyone's love for me
maybe its bcos i noe that it's probably e last time i could have fun with all of them this year.
watever it is, i am really thankful to hav met them,befriend them.
Please do not forget the times we've had k?
cos i find them truly unforgettable and will remember them always.
Take care my friends.
Be happy always=)

touched

Just now adrian asked me to go help him look at his cust's car, see if the bird shit is still on the windscreen. I went down, tryin hard to look for a latio sports premium but cldn't find any.

Asked suko and he said car might be at the solar film shop.Called adrian and reported to him.

Suddenly saw the case no! Aiyo...stupid me. Its latio sedan not sports la. So called adrian again to let him noe tt i've found the car and its still in the warehouse, bird shit still on windscreen.haha.

went back to office.sat down in front my comp.adrian asked me to help him take his water bottle from the fridge.I said ok.opened the fridge,seein his water bottle and a citigem box inside.

i was abit stunned to see somethin soo weird to b inside e fridge.took e water bottle n gave to adrian. den boss,ivan and adrian all started giving me weird expressions.adrian said must put the box inside e fridge lest it melts.

i finally get it.
the box's for me!

the whole thing was planned!
asking me to go look at the car in the warehouse was jus a trick
so that they can put the box in the fridge.
Know wat?
it doesn't really matter wat's inside the box already.
they went through the trouble to giv me this pleasant surprise especially.
i'm so touched.
nearly melted when i saw wat's on the card.

"We can't be there for you every now & then.
Least this pendant will remind you of us!!"

wat more needed to be said?
Thanks my dearest JS=)

i m going....................

I am going i am going i am going.........................
i've decided.
What lies ahead?
i dunno.
I've got my family,my bf,my friends and my colleagues.
I really feel very fortunate,with all of them supporting my decision and worrying on my behalf.
Every word they say, is a reflection of their concern for me.
How not to be touched?
SObz.

Timeline

26th September 2007(Wednesday) -- 1st interview
1st October 2007(Monday) -- Notification of 2nd Interview
2nd October 2007(Tuesday) -- 2nd Interview
Was offered the Job
22nd October 2007(Monday) -- Expected Date for commencement of new Job
3rd/4th November 2007 -- Expected Date of departure to Shandong, Yantai

Expected Date of Return?
2009.

**********************************************************************************
Never expected to go.Seriously.
Always wanted to.BUT, never thought that i'll really be going.
Now here's the chance.
Know its gonna be tough.
tough learning.tough competition.
the toughest thing is to be away from my loved ones.
YET, that's the challenge.
Am i ready for it?
I'm not sure.

没有交集。
克制自己，不要去看。

怎么办

觉得疲惫,已经不是一两天的事了.
心里,开始又想起那两个字.
我以为不在一起,大家会比较好过.
离开你,我并没有觉得我会更加自由.
不想拖着你，浪费你的时间。
一直以为自己很为你,但是,想到了这两个字,我还能多说什么?

跟你在电话的谈话。
我无法呼吸.
总觉得,太过计较的爱情,让我不知道该如何继续.
你觉得为我做了很多,我觉得我付出了很多。
你委屈，我也委屈。
我并不是想要抹灭掉曾经的快乐。
和你在一起，曾经甜到让我无法忘记。
那么深刻。深刻到，我知道，回不去。
想回到过去。
但是，那已经是曾经。
原因?
是不是真的必须说得那么明白呢?
如果能够这么清楚地列明,为什么我不要说明?
只是不想你伤得那么重.
一直觉得，在一起，是两个人的事。
不需要对任何人解释。
但是，你是不是认为，我欠你一个解释呢？
如果一定要这样，我希望，你不会后悔。
对不起,我以为,我可以不去计较.
但是，它们一点一滴地累积在我心里，我怎么都挥不去。
因此，我们不是不适合，就是你我无法为对方改变。

你不喜欢我拿你和别人比较。
通常我只是想要跟你分享而已，并没有比较的意思。
通过这样的交流，我以为你会更加明白我想要的是什么。
然而，你不会。
反而，不开心的气氛又会开始。

有时你送我回家时看起来不高兴。
我不需要人家送。可以理解你也有累的时候。
你会忍不住说，每次都是你送我回家，as usual之类的话。
听在我耳朵里，像是埋怨。
如果那么不愿意，不需要敷衍我。
我无法明白，为什么这么简单的事也会这样子？
送你回家，对我来说是对你的一种体贴。
但是，我总来不敢对家人提起，因为大家应该都觉得不是只有男孩子送女孩子回家的份吗？

你不愿意去我好朋友的生日party
你说,y cant u do things tt u wan,for once?
你不知道，我有多么心痛。
反反复复思考，是我错了吗？
am i too demanding?
我也只不过要求你去那么一次？真得那么困难吗？

打电话给你，希望听到你的声音。
你在dota。
听起来，声音没有开心，只有心不在焉。
我说我放电话，不吵你。
有时，你会回电话，有时不会。
对我来说，开开心心地打给你，就这样。
心有点冷掉了。

去哪里吃饭？该做什么？
约会，似乎也变得强人所难了。
总觉得没有好好地约会过。
你的不挑剔不是每次都是好借口。
你知道感情不可能一直处在沸腾状态。
但是，问题不出在知道问题的存在，而是知道了之后怎样处理，不是吗？
让感情冷却的，当然不只是你一个。
但是，我心里，一直希望你会做些什么。

不时的不愉快，已经不是什么新鲜事了。
你假装开心，我假装不知道。
有不开心的，你不愿意说。
我逗你开心，你还是闷闷不乐。
我没有要一个天天都给我惊喜，耍浪漫的男朋友。
只是，如果每隔天需要我哄，而我又不能让他变得开心，你能明白这样的我会是怎样的心情吗？

没有天大的错误，没有第三者，
这样，就不能justify 我们的不愉快吗？
有问题，就应该解决。
讲是这样讲，但是谈何容易呢？
你就是这样的人，我就是这样的人。
改变？
我没有把握了。
真得很厌倦了。

分开的这段时间，你并没有做出任何让我回心转意的事。
我真得很灰心。
这样的你，让我很无奈。
你说有多爱我，想跟我在一起。
我相信你。
但是，从你的行为，我看不出来。
我病了。你的关心也变得好冷淡。
如果你立刻来找我，看我，打给我，关心我，那该有多好？
问题在哪里，我也不知道。
可能就是这些点点滴滴吧。
我知道三年来你为我改变了许多。我知道的。
但是，对不起，真的对不起。
我觉得不够。
但是，看到你伤心，
我只会想立刻抱着你，跟你说，
我错了，都是我不好。
怎么办。
我到底该怎样做，才是对的？